T1 Writing

We are learning to...

•  write a personal recount about something we have done or experienced

Criteria:

• have an opening statement that tells who what and when
• write the events in the order they happened
• have a conclusion or personal response

Soccer

On Thursday the teacher said line up and go outside. When we got to the field, I saw that we were going to play Soccer! It was my first time playing soccer. When it was our turn, the soccer teacher said to get a soccer ball, so I did. Once all of us got a ball the teacher said let's play Zombie Tag. No one had any idea of what she was talking about so she explained how to play this strange game. Then she said, when I say one, two, three, we all run around with our balls. A Zombie, (which is the person who tries to tag others,) if the person gets tagged, now they will be a zombie. If someone who is not a zombie can kick a ball under their legs, then they are not a zombie any more. But the first person who was the first zombie at the start can not be saved. If that zombie tags you, you will be a zombie just like the others. Then the soccer coach said stop! so everyone stopped immediately. Then the soccer coach said come here please so I did. When all the girls came back the teacher said now let's learn Sponge Bob Square Pants. So everyone tried and tried. When I did it I could not do it yet, But I did not give up. After we all did Sponge Bob Square Pants, the soccer coach said let's really play soccer. Then we all said Yay! So she put me and others into groups and I was in the yellow group.  But others were in different groups . When it was Fruit break time we went inside and ate our fruit break but then the teacher came in. She read us a lovely story. we all had a really good time because I love soccer!

Teacher comment:

You have written a detailed account but I am still puzzled as to what you do for Sponge Bob Square Pants. 

Next step is to learn about speech marks and to proofread and edit your work.